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Kirk Cousins Shocked to Learn Anybody Cares What He Thinks About Anything

MINNEAPOLIS — The Twitter-sphere was set ablaze Wednesday morning after hearing Minnesota Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins is taking a “survival of the fittest” approach to COVID-19. “I want to respect what other people’s concerns are. For me personally, just talking no one else can get the virus, what is your concern if you could get […]

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OJ Simpson Leads By Example Pledges Record Donation of Face Coverings and Gloves

LAS VEGAS — The second surge of COVID-19 cases appears to now be in full-swing in the US, a reality the state of Nevada is just beginning to grapple with. The state reported 381 new COVID-19 cases in the past day, and had its five highest days of  COVID-19 cases in the past two weeks. […]

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Swing and a Miss: MLB Owners Honor Juneteenth by Proposing Players Play Shortened Season for Free

PHOENIX — The chances that a shortened MLB season is played this year seems about as likely as Sammy Sosa putting on 30 pounds of muscle when he arrived in Chicago because he finally removed a wisdom tooth that had been preventing him from eating his entire life. Tensions between MLB Owners, Commissioner Rob Manfred, […]

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BREAKING: Ska Dies From COVID-19 Related Complications

NEW YORK — Ska passed away alone in its home on Tuesday night from complications related to the coronavirus. The genre was on its last legs and many proclaimed it dead years ago, but re-runs of Basketball and Streetlight Manifesto’s reunion were enough to keep the music going for a few years longer than it […]